What People Do

Episode 15: Jahmal runs role-playing games for money

Note: Our audio is clippy as all get-out. Don't hate us. Or, rather, hate me. Jahmal is getting better at this, and I brought his quality down. Take me. Take me as tribute. I cut so much good stuff outta here. I’m a damn shame. Y’know why? Because I did a podcast of someone else’s a couple week ago, and my audio was too loud, and I bet she went back in time to change the sound levels on this. That’s definitely more likely than I just didn’t pay any attention when I recorded it. 
I talked to a guy online who said he knew some people. I showed up at a guy’s apartment, and there were a bunch of guys there. One of those guys, if I remember correctly, was Jahmal. Now I don’t even talk to that first guy online anymore, but Jahmal, well, I still talk to him. 
Jahmal is one of the best role-playing game DMs, game masters, judges, referees, storytellers, whatever, around. He has a unique, damn near patent-pending (or should be) way of letting each game session evolve with the interests, problems, goals, pains and pleasures of the players who show up to pretend to be other people and roll some dice (usually) to decide conflicts. 
There’s a special high the right game with the right people can deliver, he says, as stories go directions and characters take actions and players think up things no one thought possible: “There are moments in games where folks are doing their thing … and this synergy happens, I hate that word, but this synergy happens, and we’re all in this new space, and we’re all there … and the light bulbs come on for everybody. And no one saw it comin' sittin' down that night. 
“My high is only capped by the table’s high.” 
In this one, we explore what role-playing games are, why rules in games are important, and the difference between drama and shenanigans. It gets deep into the details, but stick around …  
  
WANT TO KNOW MORE? 
> You need Jahmal’s Patreon page like a flower needs water. He shares play sessions with his son and others, has in-depth discussions with other game makers, and he shares his thoughts regularly on games and things that touch on them. Check out his Transformers post. 
> Want to find a friendly game store in your neighborhood? Try this website. 
> What’s a dice pool? Roll dem bones! 
> There are a lot of games out there. Here are a few mentioned:  
>>> Apocalypse World (“Rated ‘R,’” says Jahmal, for adults) and other games “Powered by the Apocalypse,” such as Urban Shadows, Monster of the Week and Monster Hearts
>>> Ars Magica 
>>> Burning Wheel, which Jahmal loooooves 
>>> Dungeons & Dragons 
>>> Gamma World 
>>> Mutant Year Zero 
>>> Pathfinder 
>>> Star Wars   

Episode 14: Dr. Ernie Ward does paddle boarding

Dr. Ernie Ward is big on nutrition and exercise, but his love for surfing, paddle boarding and other sports in and around the ocean turns out to be bigger than that. He and his wife (his girlfriend at the time) bonded over a love of the ocean with SCUBA diving. And it’s his way of getting closer to nature. 
“It's that connection with the energy … nature … this body that engulfs the entire planet,” Ernie says of the ocean. It’s a personal challenge, with risks, and a chance to interact with a water world full of fish, sharks and more. “I know that when I talk like that, people start to go, ‘Oh, Ernie’s getting into his woo-woo stuff.’" 
Don’t tune out the “woo-woo”! Give it a chance. Ernie pitches us on how time on the water centers him and enriches his marriage (“We began our relationship in the water”), his family (“We raised our daughters surfing”), his mental state and his physical health (It’s an alternative to his Ironman work, which can be harder on the legs). And how he almost died in hurricane surf (roughly around minute 19). 
(PHOTO CREDIT: "Raglan" by tkw954 is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) 
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE? 
> Ernie surfs, but he also paddle surfs and paddle boards. Check him out paddle boarding with his dog and surfing.  
> Ernie’s wife, Laura, was always a little turned off by surfing: too much jockeying for position, too out of the norm for a thirtysomething woman to surf with all those testosterone-riddled teens. Now, she’s into it, especially after a surfing trip she and Ernie took right before the COVID-19 pandemic hit. The L.A. Times write about gender in surfing here. 
> Calcific tendinosis of the Achilles? “It just means my Achilles has turned into a solid mound of hard flesh, and it’s a real problem,” he says. Ouch. 
> Ernie mentions a book from his friend, Steven Kotler, Stealing Fire; it’s on my reading list now. (Ernie clearly had Hunger Games on the brain, and he calls it Catching Fire.) Check out Kotler's website. 

Episode 13: Dr. Melissa Detweiler does podcasts

It started with ideas. Dr. Melissa Detweiler, a small animal veterinarian in a Midwestern small town, had a lot of them, and writing blogs, commentary and opinion seemed like the route. But she didn't know, as a veterinarian, which audience to tackle first: pet owners or those "in the profession," vet med.
"I wanted to say the things [in my blogs] to pet parents that maybe I held back from saying in the exam room," she says. Then she started writing pieces for veterinary magazines to her peers.
Her podcasting took a similar route, with her first podcast ("This Vet's Voice") aimed at veterinary clients, but her next aimed squarely at the emotional challenges of life for veterinary professionals ("DVM Divas").
Originally, it seemed a far-off idea. Audio snippets, sure, but a podcast? "Who can do that? That's not something little ol' me can do with my iPhone and earbuds," she says. "I used the voice memo app on my phone [for my first audio]."
And she says she was terrified at the outset, using a podcast alter ego name. Pet owners can get pretty bent out of shape online about things involving their pets. "[The alter ego] was my security blanket," Melissa says. "I can kind of hide under this umbrella here. It felt like it freed me up a little bit."
Now, well, she's out there, with two partners-in-crime (although it's not about crime, people) on her latest podcast.
Find out how she got more comfortable with her voice on audio, how she and her podcasting partners manage the conversation and what small-town America thinks of it. 
(PHOTO CREDIT "File:Veterinary Office with dog.JPG" by MarkBuckawicki is licensed under CC0 1.0)
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
> Voiceover work is getting heavily advertised these days in work-for-home pandemic times. Melissa says she took an online course from Carrie Olsen, and she found it helpful in her podcasting.

Episode 12: Dr. Ryane Englar does ballroom dancing

Veterinarian and veterinary faculty member Dr. Ryane Englar still considers herself a “baby dancer,” although her teacher and dance partner, Lowell, saw her potential and gently encouraged her over their years of practice to dive into competition with him.
We start off the podcast with a fascinating consideration of how two dancers work together, one leading and one following, to maintain strict posture, movement, speed and flow by staying close together.
“If I start to slip, my pro partner can turn me so it looks pretty to the audience, but we both know he’s doing it to get me back where I need to be,” Ryane says.
Her descriptions of interaction between professional dancers and amateurs, men and women, leading, following and back-leading is fascinating. The art feels very gendered, with men leading and women following, and that just seems like an element of the art as performed today. However, Ryane says same-sex couples are “starting to make an appearance” in competitions and are actually common with certain dances in Europe.
The best part is hearing how dance added some tools to Ryane’s toolkit in her personal and professional life and gave her something that wasn’t about her veterinary work, “more than a definition,” she says.
Find out how Ryane got started dancing as an adult (ballet as a child didn’t do it: “I thought forever I would never dance beautifully,” she says), how Lowell helped her learn how to fall, and how it brings confidence in life and in dancing.
As Ray Davies sings, “Come dancing … ”
(Image by Peter H from Pixabay)
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
> Ryane drops a lot of names of different dance styles, and she covers it a little bit from “the student perspective.” But if you want to dig in at wikidancesport.com: American rhythm, American smooth, International ballroom, International Latin.
> Arthur Murray Dance Centers are Ryane’s choice. Find one around you?
>

Episode 11: Portia is a high-performing, information-aholic worrier (aka a journalist)

Journalists want to help. Journalists want to get to the truth. Journalists don’t want to make mistakes. Mix in all three of those, and you’ve got a recipe for well-intentioned, purposeful perfectionism of a sort.
“I don’t think you have to be a journalist because you’re a worrier,” Portia says, “but I think it’s a driver.”
It’s the hunt for the second set of eyes on a piece, the second look, the critic’s skepticism. Portia gives that to team members, and she needs it from others. So, ultimately, part of the easing of anxiety comes from building in trust and collaboration with a team of people who’ve got your back.
Another big part of managing anxiety for Portia was discovering the power of the negative stories she would tell herself. Why think you’ve failed before you’ve found out?
“At the end, when it’s finished, and you’ve published something and moved on, and you don’t have feedback [yet],” Portia says, “why assume it’s broken or wrong when you could make a choice to say, ‘That was a success’?”
Find out how she manages giving and negative feedback, how she makes time to unwind, and what elementary-school kids called Portia (for only a bit).
(PHOTO CREDIT: Image by rawpixel.com)
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
> Do you struggle with anxiety? Take a quiz.
> Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Start tackling that.
> OOOooooh. That’s what a carboy is.
> Portia mentions leadership training. I got mine from Sunroad Coaching founder Marnette Falley in a previous life. So did Portia.

Episode 10: Mindy watches ‘Star Trek’ and you should too

Star Trek debuted on CBS in 1966, the brainchild of creator Gene Roddenberry. Mindy, though, caught it first in afternoon reruns after she’d get home from school. She thinks that original series is good, but she really thinks everyone should be a Star Trek: The Next Generation Trekkie. 
“Roddenberry gave us hope for the future,” she says. The new direction in the latest two shows, she feels, is more about “me” and less about “us,” losing some part of the original’s optimism and group solidarity. 
The other big theme that pops up for Mindy in the shows is what makes us human and what we owe to the artificial beings we create. She says such Star Trek characters as the android Data and the hologram “The Doctor” spark the same sense of empathy she feels for pets. She hates seeing them abused and mistreated in films and TV shows. 
“We brought the pet into our world, so anything that happens to them is our fault,” Mindy explains, and that’s “graduated” to thinking about other beings we might create in the future. It's the most philosophical and moral discussion we’ve gotten into on this podcast! 
P.S. Mindy finally caught a bit of those new “Star Trek” shows. She says she liked them more than she thought she would. 
P.P.S. I use one expletive. Don’t judge. 
(PHOTO CREDIT: "Star Trek Exhibit Mall of America" by Margalit Francus is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) 
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE? 
> Check out StarTrek.com. 
> Humanists cover a little of Gene Roddenberry’s thinking from the show here. (Here’s a more pessimistic view on Roddenberry spun out of a book review of a two-volume history of the show.) 
> Mindy gives an eloquent, heartbreaking description of a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode about a world that depends on the torment of a single being for its civilization’s success. Brendan was reminded of a dark tale of a place that relies on hurting a being for its own happiness. It’s “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas” by Ursula K. LeGuin. Brendan said it was 30 years ago; it’s closer to 50 years ago, first published in 1973. 

Episode 9: Cheryl does midwifery

I could have called her a midwife, but isn’t the word midwifery (pronounced MID-wiff-ree) cool? 
Midwives act as emotional support, an educational resource and healthcare advocates for pregnant women. Roughly 97% of Cheryl’s mothers want a home birth. And 85% of them will have a home birth, with 15% going to a hospital instead. This is a hands-on relationship, with long, regularly scheduled appointments to check up with expectant mothers and their partners and listen to them and their concerns. It’s a close relationship, with many families coming back more than once for repeated home births. 
“We’re coming to your environment, and we’re helping you to have your baby your way,” Gates says. 
It’s a matter of preference. Other expectant mothers will only relax and feel safe in a bed at a top-notch hospital to give birth. Cheryl remembers, after a brain injury, how nice it was to get out of the hospital and into her own bed at home. She doesn’t dig hospitals. 
The clients she can’t, in good conscience, take on? Those who say “no matter what” they won’t go to the hospital for a birth. That’s a dangerous choice, she says, as the health of mother and child before, during or after birth may necessitate a move to the hospital. 
“You have to be willing to get help when you need it,” she says, “because that’s how it stays safe.” 
Learn about what life is like for a midwife and for expectant mothers who don’t want to give birth in a hospital, what racism looks like in the hospital room, and how one generation’s bad childbirth experiences can haunt the next. 
 (Photo courtesy Pixabay; no, that's not a Cheryl-midwifed baby)
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE? 
> Learn more about what midwives and nurse-midwives do as well as doulas. 
> It was only one incident in many years of midwife work, but Cheryl mentions years ago that one healthcare provider had a sign on the wall that said expectant mothers who had a doula or had taken a Bradley class were not accepted as patients. The American College of Nurse-Midwives and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (what Cheryl calls “ACOG” in the podcast) play nice together now. 
> Twilight sleep, knocking expectant mothers out during childbirth, many strapped to their beds, was totally a thing. Yuck. 
> Cheryl mentions the 2008 documentary The Business of Being Born (The Business of Birth Control is up next from the filmmakers.) You can stream it free right now. Here are a few reviews here, here and here. 

Episode 8: Marnette dresses as a hobby

I worked with Marnette, and I always liked the fact that her wardrobe in middle management and then upper management was cut from a different cloth than the standard executive. Layered, frilly, colorful tops under antique-looking jackets (“I put on a jacket, it’s just not a jacket anyone else wears,” she says). They top multilayered skirts, concealing just the tops of well-worn, well-loved cowboy boots. She talks about bloomers, and because I’m oblivious, I never thought about the fact that she wore bloomers (handmade, by the way), but now that I think about it, yeah, bloomers. Who wears bloomers? Marnette wears bloomers. And they’re fun.
“I dress for fun,” she says. “I think it’s entertaining. I shop for the things I like for sport.”
It started with Halloween, she tells us, as she realized in her 30s that dress-up was amazing and she picked similar costumes every year: “I basically want to dress like a princess-witch-gypsy every day of my life,” she says. Other people describe it as “boho chic.”
I could’ve asked Marnette for pictures of her favorite outfits, but, y’know what? Marnette dresses for herself. If you want to talk to her about this, you’ll just have to email her.
I’ve only scratched the surface. There are leadership and confidence thoughts here along with wisdom that comes with successful experimentation like this in life. Don’t miss Marnette’s centered approach to people’s judgment about style, how personal expression fits into the corporate world, and how it makes her more confident.
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
> Marnette says she has a hard-and-fast rule: She only wears what she loves. She was Marie Kendo before Marie Kendo was a thing. (Kendo’s rule 6 is “Ask yourself if it sparks joy.” If not, say, “thank you” for its service and get rid of it.) Wait, you already heard about Kendo and you’re sick of her? Now you’re a part of the wonderful cycle of 1) See a new thing, 2) Love a new thing, 3) Get tired of a new thing, 4) Hate the new thing? Read this and this and this and enjoy your irritation.
> Marnette loves Pinterest. and see if her style is your style.
> Where does she get her ideas and her clothes? She mentions Pinterest (see her boards), thredUP, thrift stores, boutique stories (a little price-y) and her own two hands (she makes her own bloomers).
> I ham-handedly describe one impression I have of Zen Buddhist poetry and practice. I don’t know enough about this. Who let me talk? Get a different view of Zen’s play with language. Taste some Zen Buddhist poetry. Shake things up with a Zen Buddhist koan, a seemingly nonsensical whack to the proverbial head to awaken you?
(IMAGE CREDIT: The Spanish Gypsy "Preciosa" by Bisson Freres)

Episode 7: Peter is an environmental manager

Yeah, who’s the guy who cut off his guest at the start of the podcast recording? That would be me. His name is Peter, and he’s an environmental engineer for a steel company.
He started as a mechanic out of high school, headed for physics in college to become a professor, but then found a love for geology and graduated with a degree in that.
He does a lot of paperwork, but he also does a lot of site visits and gets to get his hands dirty sometimes.
“I still enjoy getting outside, and I don’t know if I’d want to be cooped up inside all day,” Peter says about a potential life in academia.
Learn about steel recycling, electric arc furnaces vs. blast furnaces, and more. My favorite part? Peter fights back against my question about having an unsolvable problem. There really is no such thing, you’ll find out: Tackle it in baby steps until you get closer, he says.
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
> No, no, NO. An environmental manager (Wikipedia), not an environmentalist (Merriam-Webster.com).
> Curious about electric arc furnaces? Watch this video. (No, this isn’t Peter’s company, and no guarantee this is what this looks like in his facilities.)
> Peter used to work on Saturns. Remember those?

Episode 6: Jennifer draws

Jennifer likes to draw dragons. Fantasy monsters and people, elves, things out of fantasy books. Animals. (Her sketch of Batgirl was my smartphone wallpaper for weeks.)
"I get ideas in my head of something that would look cool of a scene or an animal, and I like sharing that idea," Jennifer says.
Like many artists who don't do it for a living, she usually doesn't need to hit deadlines that aren't self-imposed and doesn't need to draw stuff she doesn't care about. Much of her art is for her, her own heart, her own interest and the interest of friends and supporters (like the folks at her workplace who were encouraging and kicked off her adult art kick). Before, when she drew as a kid, she says she "didn't have the support system. It was getting in my own head a lot. Being very negative toward my own stuff."
"Becoming more involved with the internet ... has helped that too," she says, "because I'll throw my art out into the world and people will ... click 'Like' on it. And it won't be a lot of people, but it'll be a few people, and I'll [say,] 'Oh, I don't know that person, and they liked my art, so I ... made a random stranger happy by posting this.' That brings me joy."
Jennifer discusses the power of pre-work before art projects (when she doesn't, sometimes she notices "this one thing is off, and I could have changed that, but in order to change it ... I have to start over"), what making art feels like and how coworkers' and friends' support brought her back to art as an adult.
Note: After about 39 minutes, this podcast peters out a bit into Jennifer and I bandying back and forth, as we search for stuff on the internet to recommend (all below in "Want to know more?") and I mangle the spelling of her online handle.
 
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
Find Jennifer on Instagram (drawntofury), Patreon (caeodos) and Twitter (caeodos1)
Want to try an art challenge or exercises? Especially 'cause most of us are stuck at home during the pandemic? Jennifer mentions ...
Intokber (art prompts and shared results)
The Etherington Brothers (unique art style and drawing ideas)
the Jake Parker weekly e-newsletter (with prompts and more)
The Sketchbook Project (with DIY sketchbooks and the chance to send them back to a library to be digitized and shared)
Sketchbook Revival (a free regular event with Karen Abend and others)
Toothless from the "How to Train a Dragon" movies based on a cat? Yeah. Want to see a Tortle? Yeah you do.
Curious about Dungeons & Dragons? It was the gateway drug (check out this flowchart at Wired) for so many middle-aged nerds today, and it maintains its strength as the dominant tabletop role-playing game in the market with its new owner Wizards of the Coast (which also owns the Magic: The Gathering card game, which I play online). Jennifer also mentions Critical Role, a very popular online show featuring voice actors playing tabletop D&D.